Life has been tough for Isabella while growing up. She was separated from her mother, Madam Benedicta Osei, at age seven. She was taken away by her father, Mr. Yaw Oppong, a month after her seventh birthday in the Western Region of Ghana. Mr. Oppong traveled to the Western Region in search of greener pastures.
There, she met the beautiful and elegant Madam Benedicta. Mr. Oppong expressed his passionate love for her and promised to be with her forever. Madam Benedicta was a girl who had just completed her secondary school and had found employment as a typist at a hospital in the region.
As they were both frolicking, Benedicta became pregnant but unfortunately, Mr. Oppong had been transferred to the northern part of Ghana. Madam Benedicta called Mr. Oppong to announce the pregnancy to him. Mr. Oppong, who was not ready to become a second-time father, insisted that the pregnancy should be aborted as he was not prepared.
Mr. Oppong was not ready because he had found a new lover whom he married and therefore did not care or pay any attention to the plight of the pregnant woman. He left her to her fate. Madam Benedicta, whose mother was a teacher in Tema, was informed about her daughter’s condition and the decision she was considering to terminate the pregnancy.
“Whatever the situation, I advise you to give birth to my first grandchild. I will always be there for you and my unborn grandchild. I will shower her with love, and she will never think of not having a father,” the would-be grandmother said to her dear daughter.
Isabella was born, and as promised by the grandmother, she showered her with love, attention, and care. She would buy Isabella lots of sweets and toys to play with when she returned home from school. In fact, Isabella’s seven years with her mother were such a memorable time.
During Isabella’s seventh birthday, a party was held for her by her sweet mother, Madam Benedicta. She bought her a beautiful white dress, white shoes, and a pink hat to match. Isabella was very happy. She had her friends from school, church, and the neighborhood, and they all came with various gifts. Her seventh birthday was a day in her life that she would never forget.
That day also marked the end of a happy childhood Isabella had enjoyed with her biological mother. A month after the birthday celebration, Isabella was still remembering how sweet it was. But she had the best gift ever when her biological father walked through the door to visit and see Isabella for the first time.
It was a happy moment for both father and daughter. As Isabella was happy, Madam Benedicta was soaked in tears as she had suffered being a single mother, single-handedly catering for Isabella and also playing the dual role as the father and mother to her only child.
Isabella’s mother had to wake up at dawn and make sure all the items she needed for school were packed in her bag, take her to school, which was quite a distance from the house, before Benedicta would catch a train to work. The hardest part of it all was when Isabella was on vacation and no one was around to take care of her. She had to travel to Elmina and leave Isabella under the care of her grandmother. All this while, Mr. Oppong was not available to play a father role in his daughter’s life. Prior to meeting her father, her age-mates in the community and at Christ the King International School in Tarkwa, Western Region of Ghana, always asked her about her father and his name, which she didn’t know.
Her dad made the decision that she would come with him to Accra for a vacation and also the opportunity to meet his family members, his wife, and step-siblings. Little did Madam Benedicta know that that would be the last time she would see her beloved daughter Isabella and Isabella would also see her friend and mother.
Coming to Accra was the turning point of Isabella’s life from grace to grass, and the grass was not green. And what was awaiting her in her father’s house with her step-mother, Aunty Amina, who hails from the Northern region of Ghana, is now her new mother to care for her. Isabella’s maltreatment and abuse began when she responded to Aunty Amina’s call by saying ‘Aunty’. Aunty Amina became so furious and questioned why she did not respond with ‘Yes Mum’. As a young girl, Isabella only knows Madam Benedicta as her only mother, thus she refers to her as ‘Mum’; any other woman in the age bracket of her mother is referred to by her as ‘Aunty’.
“Warn the child to always call me ‘Mum’ and not ‘Aunty,’ this is what she said to my father in an angry tone of voice. Mr. Oppong then came to the defense of Isabella. ‘She is just a little child, give her some time to adapt to her new environment.’
Maybe Aunty Amina had bragged to her neighbors that she has a seven-year-old daughter and that she was in her husband’s hometown with the grandmother and that Mr. Oppong is going to bring her to stay with them.
So, Isabella referring to and calling Aunty Amina as ‘Aunty’ is a shame, disgrace, and exposed her to the lies she bragged about. This even brought a quarrel between Isabella’s father and stepmother. Aunty Amina was unable to conceive and bear a child for Isabella’s father.
Mr. Oppong and Auntie Amina share four children. Auntie Amina later brought her biological two children into the marriage, a girl and a boy, while Mr. Oppong also had two children, both girls. It was a bitter experience for Isabella as she was subjected to all kinds of maltreatment and emotional abuse. At times, she was insulted and denied her breakfast when her father was not around, something she had never experienced at her mother’s home. They lived in a compound house with 17 rooms, where there were frequent quarrels or fights about chores like sweeping, scrubbing the bathroom and toilet. Some tenants had not paid their utility bills. Every Saturday morning was set aside for quarrels.
Aunty Amina had an unreasonable hatred for Isabella from the moment she stepped into her father’s house when she was 7 years old. She has always been very jealous of the relationship between Isabella and her father, and that started it all. She took her to a fetish priestess for consultation to find out what was wrong with the little girl, which to her was causing so many problems and ruining her marriage. She always accused Isabella of crazy things that had no basis in reality. She started calling Madam Benedicta “Your foolish mother when giving birth to you, did not bring forth a human being but a placenta.” She would beat Isabella mercilessly in her father’s absence at any given time, but most times it was almost every day. She would tell Isabella that everyone hated her — her whole family, neighbors, and everyone.
Every morning, Isabella would wake up to her Aunty, Amina’s, screaming and calling her names. Aunty Amina accused her step-daughter of having an affair with her husband and being married to him in the spiritual realm. During arguments with her husband, Amina would blame everything on little Isabella.
Each day felt like a mental assault course, trying to minimize the threat and avoid triggering Amina’s simmering disapproval into explosive rage. The only times Isabella could relax were at school or when her biological mother visited, bringing some joy into her otherwise miserable life. Madam Benedicta was banned from Isabella’s father’s house, so she could only see Isabella at school, even though she had to travel all the way from the Western Region to Accra.
Being in school was the happiest part of Isabella’s life. Just being away from her step-mother, period. Sometimes she would wish she would be dead when she got back from school. Her stepmom connived with a false prophet and labeled Isabella as a witch and demon-possessed. Aunty Amina never gave birth to her husband. The marriage never produced any children. Aunty Amina happens to be a manipulator. She was always shedding crocodile tears just to convince Isabella’s dad to beat her up mercilessly without any explanation.
“A child needs to be seen and not heard” was the norm for Isabella’s life. She would fight tooth and nail against her stepdaughter sharing or using her father’s stuff. Sometimes Aunty Amina would break a plastic bucket and threatened Isabella to own the damage caused by her. Isabella finally found relief when she moved out of the house to be on her own after completing her tertiary education and becoming gainfully employed.
She took away the joy, motherly love, and care from Isabella. The seven-year-old girl, now a young adult in her 30s, finds herself mourning the happier childhood she could have had but was denied. Forgiveness has been the most difficult part of Isabella’s journey. “How does she forgive?” was the question she always asked herself.